Loving ourselves is something that we find hard to do. So often we are only thinking of the negative things about ourselves. What about the positives? If you stop and think for on minute of one positive, one thing you have done, then you can start doing this every day. Push aside the negative thinking. Be happy in who you are. We are not perfect no-one is, and if anyone tells you that they are, then they are only fooling themselves. Your thoughts are what keeps you either feeling good about yourself or upset, angry with yourself. How many times do we tell ourselves we are not worthy, are stupid etc. Really start thinking about what you say to you, then try and turn it around.
Life throws curves at us all the time. Life is not easy, but we have to make the best of it. We don’t live in a perfect world, these curves along the way can help you grow, help you become a better YOU. Let go of the “what ifs” we all do it, but does it get us anywhere? Thinking or dreaming of a better life, won’t get you there, you have to have to do it, act on it. How else are you going to achieve it.
By loving yourself, others will become to love you. Loving yourself, helps you to love others because if you don’t know how to love, how can you love another person? We all make mistakes, that’s how we learn, but when we put ourselves down for what we did wrong, we are only hurting ourselves. Others can walk away from us when they hear our negativity, but we can never walk away. We are it., we live with ourselves, we need to love who you are inside, in your soul, reach deep, tell yourself how awesome you really are. I know how hard this is to do, I find it hard to love myself.
Being a survivor of child abuse, it is often ingrained in us that we are not worthy, we are nothing. We believe it, and live it everyday. But it is not true. I realize now that I’m not stupid, I can achieve anything I set my mind to. Living in fear during my childhood and teen years takes your self-esteem down to the very bottom of that abyss, leaves you stranded in the negative thoughts. I wondered what I ever did wrong, why I was being punished. I believed all the things said to me, but you know, it wasn’t true. We were fed lies, we were abused, and felt we deserved it. The abuser was the one that took away our inner self. Now we need to find it again, and it all comes down to learning to love ourselves.
That little child in each of us suffered tremendously, locked her/himself up tightly, to keep safe, but didn’t feel love for themselves from others. That continued on as we grew. I never saw the potential inside myself to be who I wanted to be. To succeed in my dreams. I always wanted to be a nurse, but was told that I wasn’t smart enough. I couldn’t go on to University or collage, so I struggled though high school, got my diploma and went out and found a job. Nursing was pushed out of my mind. Today, I know I could have done it, but it took all these years to really realize that I shouldn’t have listened, I should have at least tried, and if I didn’t succeed, then that was my decision to at least try. Now I regret it so much.
To learn to really love ourselves, we need to reach our inner child, it all starts there. We need to be gentle with her/him, and by doing that we are being gentle with ourselves. Take the time to sit when all is quiet, talk to your inner child, say loving things to them. Your inner child hasn’t heard kind words, praise, those are words that are not in their vocabulary. But by doing that we are acknowledging our own person, our adult self. You will start to realize that being kind to your own self, will start to make you feel a warmth inside. Compassion for others is so easy for us to show, but to show that same compassion for ourselves, is foreign to us.
Loving ourselves is hard work, loving that inner child is hard to do also. Many may not even believe that our inner child exists, but they are there, just hidden away until someone comes and sets them free. Frightened by the past, they are insecure, unloved and feel abandoned. And as our adult selves we feel that also. We may push it away and think everything is fine, and on the outside to others, it may seem fine, but if you really thing about it, is it? To most others, I seem perfectly fine, happy, content with myself, laughing, but inside my gut feelings are still hidden away. For the most part I have opened up and let most of those feelings out, but I still hold many inside. Why? because I think I still am not loving enough of me. Sometimes I don’t care about my feelings, I don’t care enough to do something about it. But I need to care about me first, and we all need to. Today, I try and be more positive with myself, sometimes I fail at it, but I am trying and that is all that matters. My inner child, at most feels happier today than she ever has. She is no longer hidden, no longer afraid to venture outside her “box” and can smile, laugh, but also has those dark days, where she wants to stay hidden. I have and we all have those days, but its just a day, because tomorrow comes along, and can change that mindset, to a positive one. Each day will never be the same as the day before. We as adults need to stop letting others tell making our decisions for us, it’s time for us to make our own decisions, our own goals. It’s our choice not theirs. You decide what you want in life, and you decide if you want to love yourself or keep on hating yourself ~ One thing I know is that we are all worth it, we are uniquely our own person, so accept it ~
Love who you are….Give yourself a hug, tell yourself you matter, first, second and third..
Written by Mary Graziano©2014 http://www.nippercats.blogspot.com