ABUSE HURTS
Childhood abuse
ALONE IN THE NIGHT
Children who have been or are being abused do feel alone in the night. They are so afraid, feel ashamed, often times trying to hide within themselves, hoping the monster will disappear. So many have no one to turn to, their cries go unanswered. I know all too well as do many others who have lived with abuse growing up how it feels to live with the “shame.” As children, we felt this shame, as our abuser would often tell us “it’s your fault that this is happening,” what did we know? We were children, the fear that permeated throughout our very soul, kept us prisoner. Silenced, often beaten into silence or told we would be banished from the family unit. So many ways to silence a small child.We need to end the stigma of child abuse, not just during the month of April in the U.S. or October in Canada, but through-out all of the year. Children are a precious gift bestowed on us by our Creator. To love, cherish, guide them on their journey through life. No child should know the feelings of being abused, either sexually, physically or emotionally. They should not live in hell binding them tightly to abuse.
It is our responsibility as adults to report abuse of any kind if we see it happening, know it’s happening. Children are filled with so much fear inside, but may give you signs that something horrific has happened to them. Don’t turn away, nor pretend you don’t see it. Our children need us, these vulnerable children, who often go to bed at night terrified, as the monsters from hell often visit a child as they sleep. More often than not, a child knows their abuser. Please be there for a child of abuse. Help end the stigma, report abuse, it’s our responsibility!!!!
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APRIL CHILD ABUSE AWARENESS MONTH
Published on Apr 29, 2014
Child Abuse Awareness and Sexual Assault Prevention video to show how we must speak out
**Not all of these paintings of children are abused children, happy to be able to say. There are a few that are very happy, well taken care of and loved children. We do all we can to protect the privacy of those who are being abused.”
All the beautiful Artwork belong to my friend Michal Madison..www.MichalMadisonArt.net/galleries.html…
Words by Mary Graziano
copyrighted
Music and song sung by George Robertson.
video put together by Debbie Naylor Cox
I do own the rights to the Video and the Song
CHILD ABUSE LIVES EVERYWHERE
| NAASCA Posters / Essays Celebrating April as National Child Abuse Awareness Month | |
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Child Abuse lives .. …... in every community …... often its a family tradition Sexual assault of children often includes incest. Incest is sexual contact between persons who are so closely related that their marriage is illegal (e.g., parents and children, uncles/aunts and nieces/nephews, etc.). This usually takes the form of an older family member sexually abusing a child or adolescent. The victim may be told that what is happening is normal or happens in every family, and doesn’t realize that it is a form of abuse. The youngster may not know that help is available or who they can talk to. Children may be afraid of what will happen if they tell someone, and may also be concerned about how many people will react when they hear about the abuse. Incest is especially damaging because it disrupts the child’s primary support system, the family. When the abuser is someone in the family, the family may not be able to provide support or a sense of safety. Since the children (especially younger children) often have limited resources outside the family, it can be very hard for them to recover from incest. Incest can damage a child’s ability to trust, since the people who were supposed to protect and care for them have abused them. Survivors of incest sometimes have difficulty developing trusting relationships It can also be very damaging for a child if a non-abusing parent is aware of the abuse and chooses—for whatever reason—not to take action to stop it. Please see: Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network
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CHILD ABUSE LIVES EVERYWHERE
| NAASCA Posters / Essays Celebrating April as National Child Abuse Awareness Month | |
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Child Abuse lives .. …... in every community …... in groups of every belief Child abuse lives in every group and institution where children are gathered .. and this is true world-wide. Late last year the UK’s newly formed National Crime Agency released a report verifying children in institutions such as schools, churches, clubs and care homes (like foster care) are not safe from abuse. The NCA warned that child sex offenders often manipulate victims into believing the attention they get is an “honor”, making it hard for them to report abuse. Victims in some cases were made to feel indebted to their abusers, making them feel that they were somehow complicit, experts found. The report warned that management structures can discourage junior staff from reporting suspicions, and can also allow offenders to gain the trust of their victims and those who should be protecting them. The report said in some cases, protecting the organization’s reputation had taken precedence over reporting abuse, and workers’ loyalty to the institution also stopped them from reporting concerns. The NCA report outlines eight key recommendations for institutions. They include putting children’s interests first; creating a safe environment for reporting; effectively implementing and monitoring safeguarding policies; improving protection through safer recruitment; and releasing alleged offenders’ identities. |
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WITH PLEADING EYES
WITH PLEADING EYES
Her dark brown eyes evoke sadness,
lips have lost their smile.
Lost when she sees hatred
born into a child.
Bigotry, in place of love,
anger in place of happiness!!
Eyes questioning, wondering why a child
is used in despicable ways.
Where is society, when a child is thrown
into the “lion’s den?”
Where are those who say they care?
In reality, they look the other way!!
A child feels the heartache
of not being loved, innocence lost.
Damage, that cannot be reversed.
Living in a bubble, unable to escape.
The future of a child, foreboding!!
Her heart cries for an abused child
who is neglected, sexually abused,
bullied, living with racism
that is still alive today.
All forms of abuse!!
She wants all children to live life content,
without convictions, to be free, able to run
play with laughter,
to just be CHILDREN!!
When was this lost?
When do we change what was eradicated?
How do we find strength to say NO
to this hatred that purges out
into the streets, into the lives
of our children?
Her eyes speak in silence,
her lips say “please don’t turn away,
let’s change our world by speaking up
for the future of children everywhere!!”
With pleading eyes she begs.
Prose by Mary Graziano©
Revised July 7, 2016
Beautiful watercolour painting
by my wonderful friend
Michal Madison
©2014www.MichalMadisonArt.com
Vulnerable Expressions of Raw Emotion
WHO WILL NOTICE?
So many children live this way every day of their young lives. Silent, withdrawn, keeping to themselves. But, in a busy world we live in, who really takes the time to notice little Johnny, little Cindy? Even in their own homes, parents are too busy to take notice, and decide that Johnny is just playing up in his room. Changes do occur and we must take notice if your child, a child at school, is changing. Silence isn’t always “golden” like they say, it could also be a sign your child is being bullied, abused and he/she has no voice to let anyone know. They live in fear, fear of what will happen if they do tell, fear of what would happen to their family unit, if abuse is happening in their own homes.
Their hearts are being torn apart by what is being done to them. Their abuser is keeping them silent. Their hearts are hurting so badly, they shed tears in silence, when they are alone. On the outside, instead of being that silent, withdrawn child, they are looking happy, not a care in the world, living a life like any normal child, so they think!! They are putting on a front, hiding behind that smile so not to be detected, not to look different. Bit by bit they are becoming a shadow of themselves from the inside out. Children of abuse don’t have a voice, WE the adult must be that voice for them. Don’t let a child down, reach out if you see your child or another child change in some way, if sadness, depression, takes hold of them. Talk to them, let them know you can be that trusting person who cares. Don’t ever turn away from a child in need, take off those blinders, be a voice for an innocent child. I was that child who on the outside looked happy for the most part, pretending nothing happened, but on the inside I was dying slowly, trapped within. My heart was aching but I had no voice. So as a child, I did nothing.
Let’s be a voice for the innocent children of abuse. “We are the forgotten children, please stand up and fight for us. Help take away the monsters from hell, who abuse us in every way.” Remember children everywhere, protection is what they need. Be that voice, help set them free!!!
BEHIND THESE WALLS
BEHIND THESE WALLS
Do you know the truth about abuse The scars it has left behind?
The secrets so many, left untold,
poisoned us, with words that, corrupted our minds.
Stole our innocence, controlled us by fear,
made us believe we were useless
never amounting to anything!!
Good for only one thing, degraded beyond belief.
In our minds we believed we deserved this, no-one ever saying that we otherwise didn’t.
We pretended that our families truly loved us. Our smiles we often did fake!
Who really knows what goes on
behind the walls,
who really listens, who really cares!!
What they don’t see, to them
nothing happened, or was wrong.
Our secrets are ours.
The pain we must bear.
The scars from abuse, deeply affected us,
In our hearts it never leaves.
We don’t want this for our own children.
We must fight for all the children
To try and protect, help keep them safe from abuse
making them live a life that is so unfair!!
Behind these walls walls that were meant to protect
not keep children silent, trapped in abuse.
Too young to fight, it’s up to us.
To come together as voices for the children
And let their spirits live.
Mary Graziano ©
Revised May 26, 2016
WHY THE STATUTE OF LIMITATIONS NEEDS TO BE ABOLISHED
This is an excellent article on sexual abuse of children at the hands of spiritual leader, and why we need to abolish the Statute of Limitations. http://forward.com/…/329620/i-was-13-when-marc-gafnis-abus…/
In a Forward exclusive, Sara Kabakov for the first time tells her story of sexual molestation by the spiritual guru when he was a rabbinical student. She decries the…
FORWARD.COM
SEEING THROUGH THE EYES OF A CHILD
SEEING THROUGH TH EYES OF A CHILD
FROM MY BLOG http://www.nippercats.blogspot.com
Beautiful watercolour painting by Michal Madison
Mary Graziano shared Michal Madison Art
SEEING THROUGH THE EYES OF A CHILD
How often do we really see through the eyes of a child? How often do we ignore what we are seeing? Not asking what is wrong, thinking that “oh well they are just having a bad day.” They may show signs of sadness, helplessness, and a general feeling of loneliness. They may feel afraid, feeling unsafe. A child may keep to themselves, too afraid to say what is bothering them. Maybe they have been bullied or have no friends at school. We need to really look into their eyes. The eyes speak to us, can often tell us how someone is feeling.
Often, parents don’t look inside the eyes of their child, they don’t see the sadness that is there, or may just turn a blind eye to it. I myself, as a little child have heard my parents argue and fight, although there was never any physical abuse between them, it still hurt me so bad inside. I held it all inside of me,
It scared me and made me very sad inside, often thinking it was my fault, that I was to blame for some of the arguing that went on. I would hide in my room, put a pillow over my head so I didn’t have to hear my mother screaming. She was the one who did 99% of the yelling.
I remember one time my mother walked out of the house after they argued, and I didn’t know if she was coming back or not. This was very traumatizing for me, as I was only about 5 at the time,
My brother and I would keep asking our dad when she was coming home but he never answered. I was left alone with my dad and my brother, and I can remember one incidence where he would come into my room to tuck me in, and started tickling me, then his hand touched me on my genitals and asked me if it tickled. Me being me, I didn’t answer him, hoping he would leave quickly. That little girl in me was very scared, unsure of what had happened. So I was caught in a situation where my mother had left (I think it was for a week, which seemed a lifetime), and now my father had the chance to abuse me sexually whenever he felt like it because she wasn’t there.
If only they both had looked inside my eyes, to see the look of sadness that was there. As I look back on this now, I have an understanding about why I may have been so solemn and quiet. How many other children have this same feeling inside of them? How many eyes are being ignored? How many parents are not seeing the signs of a child being abused? It hurts me to see that so many little ones are going through this, are being ignored or told to just get over feelings that make them sad. No child should be ignored, no child should feel sad, scared to tell. But when they are ignored at home, why would they bother to tell? I didn’t, I felt often times abandoned, that my feelings never mattered. But a child’s feelings matter just as much as an adults…..Because as they grow up, all the hurt feelings build up causing so many other ailments, depression can set in if it already hasn’t. Suicide, because they feel no one hears them.. Please, look into the eyes of a little child, before it’s too late. Their eyes tell a story~ Will YOU be there for them?
Mary Graziano ©
Edited April 4, 2014
Artwork by my wonderful friend
Michal Madison ©
http://www.MichalMadisonArt.net/galleries
GALENA’S PAIN
Galena’s Pain
Galena’s black eyes.
Glazed over with tears.
Void of emotion.
Caused by abuse.
A broken soul.
Heart. Mourns a loss.
Self-worth. Destroyed!!
A beautiful child.
Lips that once smiled.
Now. Silent.
Hurt. Beyond words.
Confused. Alone. Shamed.
Dignity. Self-esteem wounded.
Beyond repair.
How!! Can she become whole again?
Deafening words. Is all she hears.
Her abuser’s screams. Echoing in her ears.
Imprisoned. In a web of lies. Deceit.
Told. It was normal. BUT HOW!!!
It feels so wrong.
Her body used. Innocence stolen.
Emotional numbness.
Steals any joy she once felt.
Her world. Dark. Cold.
She is filled with trepidation!!
We must.
Bring back the lives.
That stole so many children.
Like Galena.
So deserving they are. Of love.
Laughter. To be free spirits.
Pure of heart!!
Able to look for dreams.
Of a better tomorrow!!
Listen. Intently. With your heart.
Hear. The lonely cries. The pain.
Of an abused child.
Be the voice. For the silent!!
Help rekindle that vacant stare.
Fixed within their eyes.
In the eyes of Galena.
To one with a spark of hope.
Zest for life.
WE!! the adults.
Are their only chance.
For survival.
Help end the pain.
Of a child.
And Galena’s pain!!
Prose by Mary Graziano©
Revised February 28, 2016
Beautiful watercolour & title
By my wonderful artist/advocate/friend.
Michal Madison
www.MichalMadisonArt.com
CHILD of NEGLECT
Tonight I was watching a program on T.V. about animals that have been neglected by their owners. It was indeed very sad to see these dogs being mistreated, living in feces, no food nor water. They were taken away by Animal welfare. They took pictures of where these dogs were living for proof when the owners were taken to court.
This saddens me, as I am an animal owner and love animals very much. What came to mind was where are the programs on T.V. about neglected children? Yes, we see news reports about this. But is that enough to stir peoples emotions?
Emotions for these pets ran high!!! You hear so much outcry for what is done to these poor animals whenever a report is made. Why can’t we have the same coverage for children of abuse, neglected at the hands of their caregivers. How many more children need to die because others don’t care? And that goes for CPS!!! How many have died while in care? Too many. The stats in Canada alone are staggering.
WE as adults have a voice!!!! We have an obligation to children everywhere, to see that they are safe. That their needs are met. We CAN’T keep turning a blind eye to abused and neglected children. Animals seem to have more rights!!! Don’t let our children suffer. Look into the eyes of a child, see the sadness they carry with them. Reach out, take a stand, care like you would if you saw an animal abused. We are their only hope, without our help, love and caring, they become invisible, to themselves and to society. Don’t let the children down….Mary Graziano/ copyrighted 2016
Listen to the words of my song that I wrote. Music and sung by my friend George Robinson, hopefully we will have this on a video.
HEALING CHILD ABUSE
Via Patricia A McKnight
https://t.co/NyzMPr4ahs @DrPhil @TheDoctors @AceBreakingNews @BookMktingIntl @darlenejharris @ilnewswatch We are changing#IllinoisLaw
Rebecca Kimbel has Patricia McKnight as a guest. Patricia is the author of My Justice, which was inspired as a healing for her own violent and abusive childh…
LOOK INTO THE EYES…..
My poem made into a song by my friend singer/songwriter George Robertson. This song is about how we raise our voices and shout out loud and clear when an animal is being abused, but how many of those people raise their voices and shout loud for the abuse of an innocent child? Something is wrong here. A human life should be first above any other life. NO CHILD SHOULD BE ABUSED/ neither should an animal..but when child abuse is talked about,
people turn the other way and pretend it doesn’t have anything to do with them, but it does..
LOVE AND HUGS ARE SO IMPORTANT!!
As children we need to feel loved. To be told that our parents love us gives a satisfaction to our soul. Knowing we will be precious in their eyes. That we will be protected. It builds our self esteem.
But when you are told as a child hurtful words, it tears you apart inside. Keeping quiet, repressing all that is said to you. It takes you into your adulthood, where your self esteem is shot down. I as a child have never ever remembered being hugged by my mother or told “I love you.” I buried it deep inside. I was quiet. Never thought I was worth loving. Even when I was told that because they adopted me “I was special.” How could I be special if they never showed me love. Only by my father did I receive love in the wrong way!!!
Children are so vulnerable, innocent. Their lives are built around the love they feel from their parents. Instills in them wholeness, goodness about themselves.
Please hug your child today. and everyday. Tell them you love them. Show them that love. They will be forever grateful.
I won’t ever feel that love, but that’s okay now, because I have grandchildren who I love and tell them that whenever I see them. ~ Mary Graziano©
This happened to me. This was a part of my child abuse when I was young. My mother would tell this to me when I was an adult. and thought it was funny. She would say “you never did it again.” I never said anything to her. Even as an adult I was afraid to speak up. She never cleaned me up. Her cousin, who later abused me cleaned the poop from my face. How could someone do this to their child. She said I was “special” because they adopted me..Special yes right!!!! for her and my father to abuse me.
Together We Can Heal 