Children who have been or are being abused do feel alone in the night. They are so afraid, feel ashamed, often times trying to hide within themselves, hoping the monster will disappear. So many have no one to turn to, their cries go unanswered. I know all too well as do many others who have lived with abuse growing up how it feels to live with the “shame.” As children, we felt this shame, as our abuser would often tell us “it’s your fault that this is happening,” what did we know? We were children, the fear that permeated throughout our very soul, kept us prisoner. Silenced, often beaten into silence or told we would be banished from the family unit. So many ways to silence a small child.We need to end the stigma of child abuse, not just during the month of April in the U.S. or October in Canada, but through-out all of the year. Children are a precious gift bestowed on us by our Creator. To love, cherish, guide them on their journey through life. No child should know the feelings of being abused, either sexually, physically or emotionally. They should not live in hell binding them tightly to abuse.
Child Abuse Awareness and Sexual Assault Prevention video to show how we must speak out
**Not all of these paintings of children are abused children, happy to be able to say. There are a few that are very happy, well taken care of and loved children. We do all we can to protect the privacy of those who are being abused.”
All the beautiful Artwork belong to my friend Michal Madison..www.MichalMadisonArt.net/galleries.html…
Words by Mary Graziano
Music and song sung by George Robertson.
video put together by Debbie Naylor Cox
I do own the rights to the Video and the Song
|NAASCA Posters / Essays Celebrating April as National Child Abuse Awareness Month|
|Child Abuse lives everywhere — don’t be afraid to talk about it||
4 of 30 ..
|Child Abuse lives ..
…... in every community
…... often its a family tradition Sexual assault of children often includes incest.
Incest is sexual contact between persons who are so closely related that their marriage is illegal (e.g., parents and children, uncles/aunts and nieces/nephews, etc.). This usually takes the form of an older family member sexually abusing a child or adolescent.
The victim may be told that what is happening is normal or happens in every family, and doesn’t realize that it is a form of abuse. The youngster may not know that help is available or who they can talk to. Children may be afraid of what will happen if they tell someone, and may also be concerned about how many people will react when they hear about the abuse.
Incest is especially damaging because it disrupts the child’s primary support system, the family.
When the abuser is someone in the family, the family may not be able to provide support or a sense of safety. Since the children (especially younger children) often have limited resources outside the family, it can be very hard for them to recover from incest.
Incest can damage a child’s ability to trust, since the people who were supposed to protect and care for them have abused them. Survivors of incest sometimes have difficulty developing trusting relationships
It can also be very damaging for a child if a non-abusing parent is aware of the abuse and chooses—for whatever reason—not to take action to stop it.
Please see: Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network
A child of abuse is very cautious in trusting an adult. They have been denied to live the life of an innocent, carefree child!! Hiding, in the shadows, as other children are free to be themselves, playing laughing, free spirits. An abused child may often put on that happy face, but it is just a mask, to cover up what is or has happened to them. I know, I was one of those children.
An abused child grows up in an adult world, being subjected to things that they should never know about, that corrupts their mind, body, soul. Trust is often doubtful in the eyes of a child. They are forever changed. Degraded, a “puppet” on their abuser’s string. Caught in a web of lies, decent, shame, being told it’s their fault these things happen to them.
You must slowly earn their trust, lovingly, one step at a time. Letting them know that you are a safe person, even then, that trust is going to take a very long time in coming. They may have been told by their abuser, “I’m a safe person and would never hurt you.” A wounded child, lives with their wounds forever. They are caught in the deep abyss, sometimes unable to ever climb out from the clutches of their abuser.
We must not turn away, we must always believe a child, then help them, not leave them shackled in horrendous abuse!!! Believe, get their trust, call someone, don’t sit idle, don’t pretend it’s not happening. If it were your child, wouldn’t you want someone to be there, let you know what happened or is happening to your child? Take off your blinders, open your eyes to an abused and innocent child!!! Mary Graziano©2016
This is an excellent article on sexual abuse of children at the hands of spiritual leader, and why we need to abolish the Statute of Limitations. http://forward.com/…/329620/i-was-13-when-marc-gafnis-abus…/
LONDON — An extraordinary elite-level coverup that included a member of the royal family, Cabinet ministers, and judges conspired to keep a pedophile bishop safe from prosecution and free to continue abusing boys.
Peter Ball, the former bishop of Lewes, was finally convicted Wednesday for decades of sexual crimes against boys and young men that date back into the 1970s.
by PAULA MCCOOEY
Sabrina-Riki Moreau’s first childhood memory isn’t a boisterous kids’ birthday party or a trip to the zoo. Rather, the scene forever embedded in the young woman’s mind involves a dark basement and an encounter with her grandfather that began a decade of sexual abuse.
Moreau’s Cummings Avenue brick rowhouse was linked to her grandparents’ home by its backyard. Her mother, a single, working parent entrusted the grandparents to care for her kids.
Moreau remembers being four years old and having dinner with her brother at her grandparents’ home almost every night. They had their own rooms there and her grandfather would put her to bed every night, she says. And every night, there was abuse.
Richard H. Glarvin pleaded guilty to sexual assault and sexual interference last September for the abuse that occurred between 1995 to 2005. A snapshot provided in the statement of facts showed how he turned a position of trust into an opportunity to prey.
“The incidents happened at the victim’s residence, at the accused’s residence, in the accused’s vehicle when he would pick her up from extra curricular activities, outside in the backyard, and anywhere and time the accused had an opportunity to be with the victim.”
On Feb. 1, Glarvin was sentenced to 4 1/2 years in prison.
That’s hardly justice, in Moreau’s mind.
“This guy admitted to doing this to me for 10 years. Why are you not giving him 10 years?” the 24-year-old asks.
Since the sentencing, she has had the publication ban on her name lifted to encourage other victims to come forward.
“I know now in my heart that if I can gone to the police when I was 4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-12-13-14 years old, they wouldn’t have called him after I went to the police two months later, they would have gone to his house with the sirens on and they would have cuffed him.”
Glarvin’s defence lawyer, Rodney Sellar, asked Justice Ann Alder that his client be sentenced to four years, while the Crown requested a five- to seven-year prison term. Moreau fears her grandfather, now deemed a pedophile, could potentially serve as little as a third of his sentence and qualify for day parole.
The defence attorney said the the fact his client pleaded guilty, in addition to the fact he has dementia and a psychiatrist has deemed him a low risk to re-offend, were mitigating factors.
“The victims obviously have different concerns, but the judge has to balance all the interests and I think she did it very well,” said Sellar. On the possibility of being granted parole, he said that may be an “optimistic view.”
“It’s much more difficult to obtain parole than it used to be,” he said.
That’s cold comfort for Moreau, who feels the justice system is “flawed” and fails victims.
“So I have to call the parole board if I want to be updated (on whether he is) eligible … just like this whole process, that’s another time where I have to tell somebody his name. … Just me saying his name, I get the chills. I just hate it. And it’s another time I have to call someone and say ‘Hey, I was sexually abused by this person.'”
Heidi Illingworth, executive director at Connecting Ottawa, a victims advocacy group, said that if the case had been tried in the United States, he may have received up to a life sentence. But in Canada, where judges rely on previous case law, sentences are shorter.
“It sort of feels like a slap in the face (for victims) when you go to court and you go through all the difficulty with telling your story publicly,” said Illingworth. “They can often feel negative if they are not satisfied with the sentence and that can often be a set-back from trying to move forward with what’s happened to you”
At 14 years of age, Moreau said, she had the confidence to tell her grandfather to stop the abuse, but by then the damage was done.
She couldn’t concentrate in high school and became suicidal. After confronting him five years later, he admitted to having nightmares the abuse.
She then told her mother and he admitted to her what he had done.
As Moreau continued to suffer the effects of her abuse, she decided to report the incidents to police in 2014 and Glarvin soon turned himself in. He told the detective he, too, was molested as a child. He said he hadn’t hurt any other children and needed medical help.
In Moreau’s lengthy victim-impact statement she titled each sentence with a succinct single word: Shame, Insecurity, Anxiety, Anger, Depression, Trust.
Moreau has spent thousands on therapy and lost the relationship with her grandmother, who stuck by her husband’s side.
“I stopped believing in God at a very young age. How could I pray to and believe in someone who let this happen to me. What did I do at such a young age to deserve that?”
The mirror is my enemy.
When I look inside I see.
A little girl who is so lost.
Tears well up in me.
She looks so frightened.
so very sad.
I can’t reach out or touch.
It’s just too hard.
To look at her.
Are just too much!!
I know she needs my guidance.
She reminds me.
Of all my fears.
Hate I see. Inside her eyes.
She sheds so many tears.
I walk away. Leave her.
Can’t bear to see her cry.
I try so hard.
To block it out.
Just too many tears. To dry.
As I turn.
I look back into the mirror.
My adult self I see.
So many thoughts.
They just envelop me!!
If I could smash the mirror.
That little girl would disappear.
But then she would be trapped inside.
Her abuser wins.
Would still be living in fear.
Prose by Mary Graziano©
Revised October 2015
This happened to me. This was a part of my child abuse when I was young. My mother would tell this to me when I was an adult. and thought it was funny. She would say “you never did it again.” I never said anything to her. Even as an adult I was afraid to speak up. She never cleaned me up. Her cousin, who later abused me cleaned the poop from my face. How could someone do this to their child. She said I was “special” because they adopted me..Special yes right!!!! for her and my father to abuse me.
STANDING ON THE DRAGON
He is the dragon.
The monster that controlled!!
Deep inside our soul.
We recoiled from his touch.
A choice? There was none!!
We were under his spell.
Believing it was our fault.
We were children. Vulnerable.
Frightened by his fiery words.
Spewing from his mouth.
Changing our lives forever!!!
This dragon continues to shatter tiny lives.
Devouring their innocence.
Powerful. Showing no remorse.
Fiercely he strikes!!
Taking all spark of life away.
Crushing the spirits. Hopes. Dreams.
Of children caught in his clutches.
A child feels dead inside.
All fight is gone.!!!
Now. As adults. It is time.
To stand up. Fight.
To slay the dragon that stole innocence.
The monster of abuse.
He WILL NOT win!!!
We are stronger.
No longer that small child.
Now knowing it was NEVER our fault.
We are now ready.
To destroy what harmed us in the past.
No longer silent.
We now have a VOICE!!!
Helping to free innocent lives.
Of children today.
We are warriors against abuse.
Protecting the innocent naivety of a child.
We will not be defeated!!
Together. We WILL be.
STANDING ON THE DRAGON.
Prose by Mary Graziano©
Revised September 24,2015
Title & Watercolour painting by my
Talented friend Michal Madison©
Jerry Sandusky’s first victim might have been his last if the curriculum provided by this law had been in place in schools back then.